


The Fascination that is Women

by thepeopletoomustrise



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Gen, Kink Meme, i'M ACTUALLY SCREAMING, les mis kink meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-01
Packaged: 2017-12-03 23:06:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepeopletoomustrise/pseuds/thepeopletoomustrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill to the prompt: </p>
<p>"I want a fic where Enjolras literally doesn't know what a woman is."</p>
<p>It got out of hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fascination that is Women

**Author's Note:**

> The full prompt, found on page 43 of the LM Kink Meme, is as follows: 
> 
> "Do you guys recall that one fragment of the brick about Enjolras not knowing that there is such being as a woman? I want a fic where Enjolras literally doesn't know what a woman is. Maybe he is vaguely aware that half of society for some reason chooses to wear dresses, but he honestly doesn't have any idea why, and doesn't know the difference between a man and a woman."
> 
> I branched largely off of this comment:
> 
> "They...they bleed? From there? And they don't die? Why aren't we recruiting them as soldiers?!"
> 
> I'm crying a little bit.

“Take a seat, Enjolras. We need to have a talk.” 

Combeferre is seated alone in the Musain, which was no surprise, given that in broad morning daylight it was less of an inclining hangout. But what did surprise Enjolras was the look his friend had in his eyes, so when he sat down, he did so with cautious curiosity. “What is it?” 

Combeferre pursed his lips as if trying to hold back a smile. “It has come to our attention a little detail about yourself that has seemed to have slipped past our realm of reasoning. But recently, this small misjudgment of yours has gone far past the state of a little detail and slid fast into a large, large problem.” Enjolras stared at him in confusion. “And the problem, Enjolras, lies in Women.” 

“Women?” Enjolras chuckled. “Men in dresses, Combeferre. It’s not something we should necessarily be concerned with when we have a revolution on our hands!” 

Combeferre watched him, his eyebrows raising and falling; their suspicions had been correct. Enjolras, with such a strong sense of dedication, had fallen to his narrow-view on the beauties of life and had completely missed the fact that women even existed. To him, everyone was a man. 

“Enjolras,” Combeferre said gently, watching him with a small smile. “There’s something you should know.” He slid a large book towards Enjolras’ side of the table, and now Enjolras could see that it was one of Joly’s medical books. “There aren’t just men in this world. Nor are there men who wear dresses, necessarily. You see, the Woman is a unique specimen, apart from man, with her own set of anatomical features as well as psychological traits. Women are not men in dresses. They are _female._ ” 

Enjolras stared at him with raised eyebrows, so Combeferre began to flip through the book. 

“Let me elaborate,” he said slowly, landing on a page displaying the anatomy of a male. “This is what you and I are, correct? We are males. We have these same anatomical features, the same muscle structure; You understand?” Enjolras shook his head. His cheeks were growing flush. “Now, there is a whole other creature. This creature is Woman, and she- note I say _she_ and not he- is built completely differently. It’s fascinating, really,” 

He flipped to the next page, which broadcasted the anatomical structure of a woman. Combeferre watched Enjolras’ innocent eyes widen. 

“Where on earth is the _penis_?” he cried, and confusion draped his every word- which really was a rare occurrence for Enjolras in itself. He gasped, “ _What on earth is that_?!” The horror in his voice could not be masked.

“Well,” Combeferre started carefully, “that is called the vagina, Enjolras. It is its own organ, completely separate from the one you and I have. That’s what makes a woman a female. Well, that and breasts.” 

“It’s rather horrific,” Enjolras stated, shaking his head. 

“Ah,” his friend chuckled, “I’m sure you will retract that statement as you grow older. Trust me. It’s shaped like that for sex.” 

Enjolras showed no signs of recognition of the topic, and Combeferre frowned. 

“You do know how that works, don’t you?” 

The silence was enough of an answer, and his friend sighed, shaking his head. 

“Well, Enjolras, I might as well just tell you now. Our… anatomical asset… is made to nestle its way into the woman’s. Does that make sense?” 

“It fits?” 

“…Well, you know. The female anatomy can handle quite a bit. In fact, they bleed on a periodic basis. I’m not quite sure why, but they do! I’m sure Joly could explain. It’s rather remarkable! They bleed for a few days, and things return to normal as well! Fascinating!” Combeferre looked genuinely intrigued, while Enjolras stared at him with wide eyes. Enjolras didn’t care about the sex process anymore. 

“What kind of creature bleeds from such _private quadrants?! And does not die!_ ” his incredulous words made his tone begin to rise. “That cannot be human, Combeferre! It cannot!” His mind was reeling behind the piles of blonde hair. 

“No, it’s-“ but before he could finish, Combeferre realized that Enjolras’ face of horror was shifting to one with a plan on his mind. “My, what now?”

“Can they bleed forever without dying? If that is so, Combeferre, we must take this to our advantage! Why haven’t we gotten the Woman to battle for us? Ah, what a fantastic asset that could be added to the barricade! Wounded and bleeding, and unfazed as well!” Enjolras had turned enamored, and Combeferre couldn’t help but to stare with skepticism. 

“I’m not sure that’s exactly how it works…”

“But what if it is?!” Enjolras said, an excited smile forming at his lips. “A whole untapped resource of invincible super humans! Splendid mutants!” 

“Enjolras! Women are not mutants!” Combeferre said, staring. “That’s incredibly offensive!”

"Red and Black, Combeferre! Red and Black makes even more sense now!" He grinned widely. "Red, the blood of Angry Vaginas!" 

"ENJOLRAS!" 

Enjolras wasn’t listening. “This could be the key to our victory! We could start an army!” His brain was no longer on the confusion involving sex; instead, it was focused on the possibility of an army of these magical Women. He stood up, nearly trembling with excitement. “I’m sure the National Guard does not have the brains to match this kind of operation!” 

He turned, suddenly, waving to a rather panicked Combeferre. “I must recruit our soldiers! Tell Joly we must hear more of this power!” 

“Wait!” 

But it was too late, and Enjolras ran into the square with a whole new perspective of the past ‘men-wearing-dresses.’ In fact, he ran to the first one he saw and grabbed her arm

“Woman! You are a Woman, are you not?” he shrieked in excitement. The girl recoiled in confusion. 

“Uh, I am…” 

“This means you have a vagina! And breasts!” He was yelling now, and the girl almost turned and ran. “Such an incredible specimen!” he cried in excitement, and the girl’s cautious expression turned to one of fury. “Is it true that blood may pour from your _‘vagina’_ like the rain that will wash away the blood of revolution?” He was rather proud of himself for his use of the new vocabulary. “Join my army of Women, mutant! With you on our side, we shall never be defeated! Ah, the enemy will be jealous of the super human power we now possess! The power of Women! The color Red, Woman! Do you understand?! Red, the color of-” 

Instead of joining the army like he had expected, she slapped him. 

Maybe ignorance had been bliss?

**Author's Note:**

> sorry it was short. IT JUST NEEDED TO HAPPEN OK


End file.
